Overwhelmed by Awesomeness

This will probably sound a little bit crazy, but a few days ago, I received an email from God. Yes, that's right. Although it was technically from 'Amazon.com', there was no doubt in my mind then and even moreso now, that it was sent from God.

I don't even know what made me open it, this email recommending a book to me, because I usually just delete this kind of stuff. I suppose it was the title of the book that jumped out at me, "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God," by Francis Chan. I don't know what I clicked on, but all of a sudden the online version of the book was opened up on the computer screen in front of me... as I scrolled through the Table of Contents, Forward, Preface... I started reading, and was immediately captivated. I read enough into the first chapter to find his reference to the website, http://www.crazylovebook.com/, and a video on the website called the "Awe Factor."

So I figured "what the heck, I'll check out the video. It basically starts with a picture of the Earth and continues to zoom out further and further until you can see the sun, our galaxy, other galaxies... I can't remember how many light years away it goes... All I can say is I know why it's called the "Awe Factor". Because I just sat there, in complete awe, feeling so small, like the tiniest little spec. It's not like I haven't seen this type of thing before in science class or on the discovery channel, and I know the universe is pretty huge, endless, but when I watched this video, in that moment, I literally sat there, at a loss for words, in the awesome presence of God. Talk about humbling!!!

I had no choice but the take the enormous "hint" and purchase the book. I've been on the lookout for a new book anyway. But I did not expect for God to stop me dead in my tracks like this. I don't think I've ever received a clearer message from Him, at least not one that I recognized and listened to.

Despite the fact that I selected standard shipping, the book arrived the day after I ordered it, which was 2 days ago, and so far I'm just completely overwhelmed at how much I don't know about who God really is, and His overwhelming love for me... for all of us! And I know I'm only scratching the surface. The best way I can describe this experience is, it's as if God used modern day technology to literally speak to me, to tell me He wants to be closer to me, and He wants me to be closer to him, to really know Him. I started thinking about He knew me before I He created me, before I was born, that He knows how many hairs are on my head! I mean, I feel like my faith has really grown and strengthened over the past year or two, but it's time to start digging deeper.

Wow, I didn't really realize when I started writing this post that I would even have this much to say right now. Just... WOW. The first night I started reading the book, I was overcome with peace and joy, and recited this to myself over and over as I fell asleep:

"Holy holy holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."

Today marks 7 years that my husband and I have been married. Although 7 years may not seem like a lot, when I think back on the things we've been through, it really is something to celebrate!

My marriage is a HUGE part of my journey! With each mountain we climb and valley we stumble through, I come out on the other side just a little bit different. Sometimes it's with a better understanding of my husband. Sometimes it's with a better understanding of myself. Sometimes it's both.

As anyone knows who's ever been married, it isn't easy. If it was, of course nobody would be divorced. In the past 7 years I believe I have learned the essentials of what it takes to keep our marriage strong (in no particular order):

1. Good Communication
2. Understanding
3. Listening
4. Compromise
5. Agree to disagree
6. Laughter
7. Lots and lots of Hugs

These are just a few I could think of off the top of my head. And I still struggle with some of these things, as easy and "common sense" as they may seem.

We read a book recently called "The Five Love Languages", and aside from learning what each other's primary love language is and learning how to speak it (which I'm still working on and reminding myself of on a regular basis), probably the biggest lesson I took away from it is that love is a choice.... Every day when I wake up, I can choose to communicate to him what I'm thinking and feeling, I can choose to try and understand what he's feeling if it's different from me, I can choose to listen without interrupting (very difficult for me sometimes), and I can choose to show him how much I love him through his love language. Looking back on the difficult times, I think we struggle the most when I choose not to do at least one of those things, even if it's unconsciously.

Even through the bad times, and especially through the good times, my husband makes me a stronger, better person. He challenges me. He is everything I am not. I am everything he is not. In so many ways we are as different as two people can possibly be. But I think that's part of what makes us so great.