The Daily Bread message on facebook today really spoke to me and I just wanted to share it. I don't have any thoughts to add right now, as I'm still pondering it myself, but whoever wrote this pretty much sums it up better than I ever could. I did change the names of the dogs to those of my own because it brought it closer to home.
Dogged Devotion
READ: John 15:9-17
"In Your presence is fullness of joy. - Psalm 16:22"
Sadie and Dusty don't care much for television. They would rather look out a window than stare at a small screen. Reading doesn't thrill them either. They have been known to "chew" on books, but only in the strictly literal sense. Nevertheless, they enjoy being with us. Sadie and Dusty are our very devoted dogs. More than anything (well, just about anything) Sadie and Dusty want to be with us.
The word dogged means "determined and persistent." These words describe Sadie and Dusty. They should also describe us. When we are devoted to God, we want to be with Him even when he's doing something that makes no sense to us. We may ask, "Why, Lord?" when He seems angry (Ps. 88:14) or when He seems to be napping (44:23), or when the wicked prosper (Jer. 12:1). But when we remain devoted to God despite our questions, we find fullness of joy in His presence (Ps. 16:11).
Jesus knew that we would have questions. To prepare us for them, He urged us to abide in His love (John 15:9-10). Even when God's ways are inexplicable, His love is reliable. So we remain doggedly devoted to Him.
Never should our love be just a word,
A passing phase, a brief emotion;
But love that honors Christ our
Lord Responds to Him with deep devotion. - Hess
Monday, September 20, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I was watching the movie "Finding Nemo" yesterday with my 2-yr-old, a movie I have seen no less than 200 times, and one of the scenes caught my attention as I watched it in a different light.
It's basically about a clown fish, Marlin, who looses his son, Nemo, to divers and he travels across the ocean to Sydney to find him. Along his journey, Marlin meets several fish, and sea turtles, who help him along. And he also encounters many hurdles that slow him down. At one point, he and his fish friend, Dori, are swallowed by a whale. While inside the whale, Dori is gleefully riding the waves with the whale's movement while Marlin is frantically trying to get out, with no success. Suddenly the whale stops moving and the water starts going down. The whale tells them to "go to the back of the throat." Dori obeys, while Marlin assumes the whale is trying to eat them. As the whale lifts up his tongue to send the water and 2 fish down into the "dark", Dori and Marlin continue to hold on, attempting to prolong the inevitable (as if they have a choice in the matter). Then the whale speaks again. The part that struck me is the conversation that follows:
Dori says to Marlin: "He said it's time to let go! Everything's going to be alright!"
Marlin: "How do you know?!? How do you know something bad isn't going to happen?!?"
Dori: "I don't!"
Then Marlin closes his eyes, and lets go, fully expecting to be lunch. No sooner do they fall when the water rushes upward as the whale spouts it out, along with Dori and Marlin, and they land safely in the water outside the whale. As they swim to the surface they see that the whale has brought them the rest of the way to their destination. They have safely arrived to Sydney.
After watching this scene I was struck by the thought that I often feel like Marlin inside the whale when I hit those big obstacles in life, when things fall apart and my plans don't work out, when the problems I'm facing feel endless... and seem to set me back further and further from my goals. I get so frustrated! And while pondering this, I asked myself the question, "What if I decide to 'let go' and let God carry me the rest of the way?" It's a nice idea and what I ultimately strive for, but in reality, it can be so hard to do... having faith when I have no idea how things will turn out. But something tells me I won't fall down into the deep dark. If I just listen, trust, and obey Him, perhaps I'll find myself closer to my destination afterall. When I give up control, I find peace. And through it all I'm stronger, I'm wiser, and well-rested, ready to continue the journey.
Who would have thought I could find spiritual meaning in a children's movie?
It's basically about a clown fish, Marlin, who looses his son, Nemo, to divers and he travels across the ocean to Sydney to find him. Along his journey, Marlin meets several fish, and sea turtles, who help him along. And he also encounters many hurdles that slow him down. At one point, he and his fish friend, Dori, are swallowed by a whale. While inside the whale, Dori is gleefully riding the waves with the whale's movement while Marlin is frantically trying to get out, with no success. Suddenly the whale stops moving and the water starts going down. The whale tells them to "go to the back of the throat." Dori obeys, while Marlin assumes the whale is trying to eat them. As the whale lifts up his tongue to send the water and 2 fish down into the "dark", Dori and Marlin continue to hold on, attempting to prolong the inevitable (as if they have a choice in the matter). Then the whale speaks again. The part that struck me is the conversation that follows:
Dori says to Marlin: "He said it's time to let go! Everything's going to be alright!"
Marlin: "How do you know?!? How do you know something bad isn't going to happen?!?"
Dori: "I don't!"
Then Marlin closes his eyes, and lets go, fully expecting to be lunch. No sooner do they fall when the water rushes upward as the whale spouts it out, along with Dori and Marlin, and they land safely in the water outside the whale. As they swim to the surface they see that the whale has brought them the rest of the way to their destination. They have safely arrived to Sydney.
After watching this scene I was struck by the thought that I often feel like Marlin inside the whale when I hit those big obstacles in life, when things fall apart and my plans don't work out, when the problems I'm facing feel endless... and seem to set me back further and further from my goals. I get so frustrated! And while pondering this, I asked myself the question, "What if I decide to 'let go' and let God carry me the rest of the way?" It's a nice idea and what I ultimately strive for, but in reality, it can be so hard to do... having faith when I have no idea how things will turn out. But something tells me I won't fall down into the deep dark. If I just listen, trust, and obey Him, perhaps I'll find myself closer to my destination afterall. When I give up control, I find peace. And through it all I'm stronger, I'm wiser, and well-rested, ready to continue the journey.
Who would have thought I could find spiritual meaning in a children's movie?
Friday, September 3, 2010
Dear God,
Sometimes, like today, when I think of your awesomeness all I can do is chuckle to myself. Mostly because I just don't have the words to express my appreciation that you are in control. As disappointed as I was at the time when it didn't work out to buy that house, I realize now how much of a blessing it was. You just know better than I do, and I'm thankful for that (although I wish I would have known that before making the offer but I guess sometimes that's the only way I can learn). Help me to have faith in your timing of everything in my life and in the lives of those around me. And in the meantime, help me to live for your purpose.
Love,
Me
Sometimes, like today, when I think of your awesomeness all I can do is chuckle to myself. Mostly because I just don't have the words to express my appreciation that you are in control. As disappointed as I was at the time when it didn't work out to buy that house, I realize now how much of a blessing it was. You just know better than I do, and I'm thankful for that (although I wish I would have known that before making the offer but I guess sometimes that's the only way I can learn). Help me to have faith in your timing of everything in my life and in the lives of those around me. And in the meantime, help me to live for your purpose.
Love,
Me
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Letter to God
Dear God,
I watched a movie a couple weeks ago about a young boy who prayed by writing letters to you. I'm struggling a little bit right now and I have so many things on my mind and I feel like I can't seem to articulate them very well. So I thought maybe it would be easier to just use a letter format, like in the movie.
As you know, we made an offer on a house a few days ago, a house that after weeks of looking, Frank and I both agreed it would make a great home for our family. I was nervous that day, hoping for the best, not wanting to think much about the worst. Do you remember my prayer to you that day? I asked for your will to be done. It was an easy thing to pray at the time because I really hoped that your will would be the same as mine. I had faith that if this was the right thing, it would work out. But I think deep down I really did know that it wouldn't be the same. The moment I made that realization, when I got the call that the seller wasn't going to budge, I was a little disappointed. I tried to stay cool about it, and keep my emotions out of it. And I told you over and over that I was ok with it. But how does a woman like myself keep emotions out of this type of home-buying process?
Everyone says that now is the time to buy a house, with the low interest rates and all. Sure, there are plenty of good buys out there. There are plenty of houses that we could make work. But it has to be right. It has to FEEL right. Doesn't it?
I wish I knew what your plan is for me. Sometimes I feel like I catch a glimpse, but most times I'm really just feeling around in the dark, waiting for you to open a door that will show me the direction I should take next. I feel like I have more faith in my life now more than ever before. Sometimes I do think I can hear what you're saying, but sometimes I just choose not to listen, and I go my own way. Isn't that the freedom you've given me? I want to obey. I really do. It's so easy to think about what I should be doing, what I think you would want me to do, but it's so much harder to act on it, especially if it's not exactly what I have in mind.
I think I know the reason this house didn't work out. Maybe it's not the right time. Or not the right house. Or, is it because you have something better in mind? How long do I have to search? How long do I have to wait?
I guess for now I'll just continue to have faith. You know what you're doing, you've made that quite clear in the past. And your plan is always much better and a whole lot more perfect than mine. I guess that's all for now.
Love,
Me
I watched a movie a couple weeks ago about a young boy who prayed by writing letters to you. I'm struggling a little bit right now and I have so many things on my mind and I feel like I can't seem to articulate them very well. So I thought maybe it would be easier to just use a letter format, like in the movie.
As you know, we made an offer on a house a few days ago, a house that after weeks of looking, Frank and I both agreed it would make a great home for our family. I was nervous that day, hoping for the best, not wanting to think much about the worst. Do you remember my prayer to you that day? I asked for your will to be done. It was an easy thing to pray at the time because I really hoped that your will would be the same as mine. I had faith that if this was the right thing, it would work out. But I think deep down I really did know that it wouldn't be the same. The moment I made that realization, when I got the call that the seller wasn't going to budge, I was a little disappointed. I tried to stay cool about it, and keep my emotions out of it. And I told you over and over that I was ok with it. But how does a woman like myself keep emotions out of this type of home-buying process?
Everyone says that now is the time to buy a house, with the low interest rates and all. Sure, there are plenty of good buys out there. There are plenty of houses that we could make work. But it has to be right. It has to FEEL right. Doesn't it?
I wish I knew what your plan is for me. Sometimes I feel like I catch a glimpse, but most times I'm really just feeling around in the dark, waiting for you to open a door that will show me the direction I should take next. I feel like I have more faith in my life now more than ever before. Sometimes I do think I can hear what you're saying, but sometimes I just choose not to listen, and I go my own way. Isn't that the freedom you've given me? I want to obey. I really do. It's so easy to think about what I should be doing, what I think you would want me to do, but it's so much harder to act on it, especially if it's not exactly what I have in mind.
I think I know the reason this house didn't work out. Maybe it's not the right time. Or not the right house. Or, is it because you have something better in mind? How long do I have to search? How long do I have to wait?
I guess for now I'll just continue to have faith. You know what you're doing, you've made that quite clear in the past. And your plan is always much better and a whole lot more perfect than mine. I guess that's all for now.
Love,
Me
Monday, August 9, 2010
Moving Forward, Looking Back
I found out recently that my parents have a contract on their house that they've had on and off the market for the past year. They are excited to retire and begin a new chapter in their lives, yet afraid of the comfort zone they are about to leave and the big changes that lie ahead. They've been in their house for about 24 years, since I started 3rd grade. This is the house I really grew up in. I remember the house we lived in before that, but only in little bits and pieces. Two weekends ago we had a "last hurrah" of sorts... my sister, brother, grandma and myself all came together, at which point my parents made the big announcement.
When I found out, I wasn't necessarily surprised because I knew they'd had a lot of interest in the house recently, but I did choke up with the overwhelming mix of emotions in those few moments after I heard the news. I'm so excited for them, but a little sad at the
same time. I feel like I'm letting go of a piece of my life, and my past, as well. On Saturday night we all sat and watched a movie of the building of our house, from the digging of the basement to the building of the patio, porch and swingset. There was quite a bit of laughter at the funny hair-do's and silly remarks that we made as kids. But there was quite of bit of reflection going on in the room as well.
That house hasn't been mine for a long time now. I lived there for about a year after I graduated college and haven't been back to live there since. But even so, I've always still considered it to be "home". My comfort zone. It's where most of my family's traditions were created.... from lazy summer days floating by the pool to big family gatherings at Christmas.... My parents both have quite the green thumb as well (something I unfortunately did not inherit), and landscaping is a passion for them. They've done so much with the 2 acres to make it their little paradise. Although sitting by the pool and walking through the yard the last weekend I was there I considered it to be more like a sanctuary.
When I found out, I wasn't necessarily surprised because I knew they'd had a lot of interest in the house recently, but I did choke up with the overwhelming mix of emotions in those few moments after I heard the news. I'm so excited for them, but a little sad at the
same time. I feel like I'm letting go of a piece of my life, and my past, as well. On Saturday night we all sat and watched a movie of the building of our house, from the digging of the basement to the building of the patio, porch and swingset. There was quite a bit of laughter at the funny hair-do's and silly remarks that we made as kids. But there was quite of bit of reflection going on in the room as well.
That house hasn't been mine for a long time now. I lived there for about a year after I graduated college and haven't been back to live there since. But even so, I've always still considered it to be "home". My comfort zone. It's where most of my family's traditions were created.... from lazy summer days floating by the pool to big family gatherings at Christmas.... My parents both have quite the green thumb as well (something I unfortunately did not inherit), and landscaping is a passion for them. They've done so much with the 2 acres to make it their little paradise. Although sitting by the pool and walking through the yard the last weekend I was there I considered it to be more like a sanctuary.
Things will be a lot different going forward. It's going to be strange at first, going to visit my parents somewhere else, in another house, in another state. Change can be so hard! But change can also be really good! And sometimes you have to leave that comfort zone to make a change in order to move forward and to grow.
Now that my husband and I have our own family, we're searching for the right house to call our home... a place where our kids can call home, where someday they will be able to look back with great memories. A place where we will continue to grow as a family and create new traditions of our own.
Although at the same time, I've also been thinking that a house doesn't necessarily make a home, but home is wherever our family is. And life isn't about the place where we live or the house we live in, but the relationships with the people we love... our family, friends, neighbors, and God... however close or far apart we are.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Overwhelmed by Awesomeness
This will probably sound a little bit crazy, but a few days ago, I received an email from God. Yes, that's right. Although it was technically from 'Amazon.com', there was no doubt in my mind then and even moreso now, that it was sent from God.
I don't even know what made me open it, this email recommending a book to me, because I usually just delete this kind of stuff. I suppose it was the title of the book that jumped out at me, "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God," by Francis Chan. I don't know what I clicked on, but all of a sudden the online version of the book was opened up on the computer screen in front of me... as I scrolled through the Table of Contents, Forward, Preface... I started reading, and was immediately captivated. I read enough into the first chapter to find his reference to the website, http://www.crazylovebook.com/, and a video on the website called the "Awe Factor."
So I figured "what the heck, I'll check out the video. It basically starts with a picture of the Earth and continues to zoom out further and further until you can see the sun, our galaxy, other galaxies... I can't remember how many light years away it goes... All I can say is I know why it's called the "Awe Factor". Because I just sat there, in complete awe, feeling so small, like the tiniest little spec. It's not like I haven't seen this type of thing before in science class or on the discovery channel, and I know the universe is pretty huge, endless, but when I watched this video, in that moment, I literally sat there, at a loss for words, in the awesome presence of God. Talk about humbling!!!
I had no choice but the take the enormous "hint" and purchase the book. I've been on the lookout for a new book anyway. But I did not expect for God to stop me dead in my tracks like this. I don't think I've ever received a clearer message from Him, at least not one that I recognized and listened to.
Despite the fact that I selected standard shipping, the book arrived the day after I ordered it, which was 2 days ago, and so far I'm just completely overwhelmed at how much I don't know about who God really is, and His overwhelming love for me... for all of us! And I know I'm only scratching the surface. The best way I can describe this experience is, it's as if God used modern day technology to literally speak to me, to tell me He wants to be closer to me, and He wants me to be closer to him, to really know Him. I started thinking about He knew me before I He created me, before I was born, that He knows how many hairs are on my head! I mean, I feel like my faith has really grown and strengthened over the past year or two, but it's time to start digging deeper.
Wow, I didn't really realize when I started writing this post that I would even have this much to say right now. Just... WOW. The first night I started reading the book, I was overcome with peace and joy, and recited this to myself over and over as I fell asleep:
"Holy holy holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."
I don't even know what made me open it, this email recommending a book to me, because I usually just delete this kind of stuff. I suppose it was the title of the book that jumped out at me, "Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God," by Francis Chan. I don't know what I clicked on, but all of a sudden the online version of the book was opened up on the computer screen in front of me... as I scrolled through the Table of Contents, Forward, Preface... I started reading, and was immediately captivated. I read enough into the first chapter to find his reference to the website, http://www.crazylovebook.com/, and a video on the website called the "Awe Factor."
So I figured "what the heck, I'll check out the video. It basically starts with a picture of the Earth and continues to zoom out further and further until you can see the sun, our galaxy, other galaxies... I can't remember how many light years away it goes... All I can say is I know why it's called the "Awe Factor". Because I just sat there, in complete awe, feeling so small, like the tiniest little spec. It's not like I haven't seen this type of thing before in science class or on the discovery channel, and I know the universe is pretty huge, endless, but when I watched this video, in that moment, I literally sat there, at a loss for words, in the awesome presence of God. Talk about humbling!!!
I had no choice but the take the enormous "hint" and purchase the book. I've been on the lookout for a new book anyway. But I did not expect for God to stop me dead in my tracks like this. I don't think I've ever received a clearer message from Him, at least not one that I recognized and listened to.
Despite the fact that I selected standard shipping, the book arrived the day after I ordered it, which was 2 days ago, and so far I'm just completely overwhelmed at how much I don't know about who God really is, and His overwhelming love for me... for all of us! And I know I'm only scratching the surface. The best way I can describe this experience is, it's as if God used modern day technology to literally speak to me, to tell me He wants to be closer to me, and He wants me to be closer to him, to really know Him. I started thinking about He knew me before I He created me, before I was born, that He knows how many hairs are on my head! I mean, I feel like my faith has really grown and strengthened over the past year or two, but it's time to start digging deeper.
Wow, I didn't really realize when I started writing this post that I would even have this much to say right now. Just... WOW. The first night I started reading the book, I was overcome with peace and joy, and recited this to myself over and over as I fell asleep:
"Holy holy holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come."
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Today marks 7 years that my husband and I have been married. Although 7 years may not seem like a lot, when I think back on the things we've been through, it really is something to celebrate!
My marriage is a HUGE part of my journey! With each mountain we climb and valley we stumble through, I come out on the other side just a little bit different. Sometimes it's with a better understanding of my husband. Sometimes it's with a better understanding of myself. Sometimes it's both.
As anyone knows who's ever been married, it isn't easy. If it was, of course nobody would be divorced. In the past 7 years I believe I have learned the essentials of what it takes to keep our marriage strong (in no particular order):
1. Good Communication
2. Understanding
3. Listening
4. Compromise
5. Agree to disagree
6. Laughter
7. Lots and lots of Hugs
These are just a few I could think of off the top of my head. And I still struggle with some of these things, as easy and "common sense" as they may seem.
We read a book recently called "The Five Love Languages", and aside from learning what each other's primary love language is and learning how to speak it (which I'm still working on and reminding myself of on a regular basis), probably the biggest lesson I took away from it is that love is a choice.... Every day when I wake up, I can choose to communicate to him what I'm thinking and feeling, I can choose to try and understand what he's feeling if it's different from me, I can choose to listen without interrupting (very difficult for me sometimes), and I can choose to show him how much I love him through his love language. Looking back on the difficult times, I think we struggle the most when I choose not to do at least one of those things, even if it's unconsciously.
Even through the bad times, and especially through the good times, my husband makes me a stronger, better person. He challenges me. He is everything I am not. I am everything he is not. In so many ways we are as different as two people can possibly be. But I think that's part of what makes us so great.
My marriage is a HUGE part of my journey! With each mountain we climb and valley we stumble through, I come out on the other side just a little bit different. Sometimes it's with a better understanding of my husband. Sometimes it's with a better understanding of myself. Sometimes it's both.
As anyone knows who's ever been married, it isn't easy. If it was, of course nobody would be divorced. In the past 7 years I believe I have learned the essentials of what it takes to keep our marriage strong (in no particular order):
1. Good Communication
2. Understanding
3. Listening
4. Compromise
5. Agree to disagree
6. Laughter
7. Lots and lots of Hugs
These are just a few I could think of off the top of my head. And I still struggle with some of these things, as easy and "common sense" as they may seem.
We read a book recently called "The Five Love Languages", and aside from learning what each other's primary love language is and learning how to speak it (which I'm still working on and reminding myself of on a regular basis), probably the biggest lesson I took away from it is that love is a choice.... Every day when I wake up, I can choose to communicate to him what I'm thinking and feeling, I can choose to try and understand what he's feeling if it's different from me, I can choose to listen without interrupting (very difficult for me sometimes), and I can choose to show him how much I love him through his love language. Looking back on the difficult times, I think we struggle the most when I choose not to do at least one of those things, even if it's unconsciously.
Even through the bad times, and especially through the good times, my husband makes me a stronger, better person. He challenges me. He is everything I am not. I am everything he is not. In so many ways we are as different as two people can possibly be. But I think that's part of what makes us so great.
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