"It's the most wonderful time of the year...."
... and the most stressful! For whatever reason, this time of year has always been more stressful for me than anything else. For the past few years, the commercialism of Christmas has been bothering me more and more each year... and how much focus is on getting the best Christmas gifts at the best prices...
Last year in particular I'd had just about enough. We get so wrapped up in gift giving, and Santa Clause! Up until now I haven't really told my son Benjamin about Santa Clause, because I just didn't know how. And to be honest, I didn't really want him to know about Santa yet, at least not until he new first the "real reason for the season"... the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. So last year I bought him some Christmas story books and really just focused on that. We did give him gifts, but none of them were from "Santa".
Another reason I would get so stressed about Christmas gifts is I just never knew what to get for people. At first I thought, well maybe I need to really focus on getting to know my family better so that I'll know the perfect Christmas gift to give them. Maybe that was my problem... maybe I didn't pay close enough attention to their needs. So this past year, that's what I tried to do. I really tried to focus, I tried to do less talking and more listening... and then try and remember when the time came what their needs and wants are.
But I came to a conclusion that I didn't quite expect. And the question entered my mind, "What gifts do I buy for people who really do have EVERYTHING they need?" My family is very blessed. We all have everything we could ever need. Sure, there are always things we want. That list seems to be neverending... We could all use a new shirt, new pants, new shoes to go with our new shirts and pants, and new jewelry to top it all off, new tools, new kitchen stuff, new decorations for the house, and on and on... but we don't really need those things. For the most part, the clothes and jewelry and shoes and hats and gloves and everything else, is just fine. It's not torn, it still fits. Perhaps we get bored with what we have, but it still does the job.
And then there's the money, always feeling the need to spend the right about of money for gifts and trying to fit it into the budget. Although I never truly would budget for Christmas gifts, I would just buy what I needed to buy and hope it wouldn't break the bank.
So this year we decided to do something a little different. We're not exchanging gifts this year. Not because I don't want to spend the money, or because I don't want to try and figure out the perfect gift for everyone. I wanted to spend the money we have on people who really and truly NEED the gifts of Christmas. So we've adopted a family in need, 2 young parents with 2 boys around the same ages as ours.
This has been so heavy on my heart this year, and it's truly changed the entire Christmas gift-giving experience for me. We won't be able to actually hand the gifts to the family or meet them or see their faces when they open their gifts. But hopefully we can provide them with a merrier Christmas just the same, and of course we can pray for them.
I've been getting better about not stressing about money this year, and just having faith that God will provide for our needs, one way or another. But Satan still has a way of creeping in and then leaving bits and pieces of doubt and fear behind. The point of this blog was not in any way to place judgement on those who feel differently about Christmas and Santa and gift-giving than I do, but only to share my own thoughts and feelings about it, and to share the words below, which required a little bit of background information.
Just in the past few days I've been praying for God to take away my anxiety about money and to keep trusting Him, no matter what life's circumstances bring. Last night I got an email from someone at church asking if I could provide a few gifts for a boy in the church's preschool program who's part of a family in need. I had shown interest a few weeks ago, before we adopted a family, but then never heard anything about it. We had already committed to this other family, but I thought, "I guess I can get a few more gifts for one more.... yeah, I can do that." And then something cool happened today. I won a Walmart gift card in a drawing at my MOPS meeting this morning. I never win anything, and on any other day at any other time of year it would be totally random, but of all the drawings and all the things I could have won... It's not a crazy amount of money, but it's enough.
It's like God was there saying, "I'll provide the money, and you go get the gifts." It was pretty amazing.
Once again, God proves his faithfulness.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
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