Wow.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. God has shown me a lot of weaknesses in myself these past few weeks. And it's been painful. It hasn't been an easy process, to have my eyes opened to things about myself that I hardly knew were there, things I don't like, things like self-centeredness... pride... irresponsibility....
As I sit here this morning, hung-over, I'm ashamed after having supposedly given up alcohol for Lent. When I woke up today, I thought to myself, "This is NOT a good place to be in as I approach Holy Week." But maybe that's the point. The more I thought about it, I realized that I actually had it all wrong! In fact, this is the PERFECT place for me to be... in desperate need of God's grace, and totally and completely undeserving of it.
Several weeks ago I asked God to teach me about grace, having absolutely no idea what I was truly asking for. I can confidently say today that He has certainly answered that prayer, and here is my response:
Heavenly Father, I don't really have the words right now to express my gratitude and thanksgiving for this new day, for your incredible love, for the sacrifice of your Son, Jesus Christ. Every morning you provide me with opportunities to grow and learn. Every day you provide for my every need. Every day you shower me with blessings. And every day, I totally screw up. I'm so grateful that I don't have to earn your love and grace, because if I did, I would fail miserably. Thank you for opening my eyes to my weaknesses, for putting me through the pain that I needed to go through in order to understand your grace. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Friday, March 30, 2012
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