The Perfect Parent

I don't think I ever really understood what unconditional love meant until I became a parent. I love my kids so much that it's overwhelming sometimes, I feel like my heart isn't big enough to hold all of the love I have. There are moments when I just want to hug them so hard and never let go, and everything I do, every decision I make is only in their best interest, to help them learn, to help them grow, to push them and challenge them and encourage them, to teach them the important lessons in life.

One of the hardest things about being a parent is seeing my kids in pain... when they fall I run to pick them up and see if they're ok. If they're sad or sick, my heart cries for them... I would give anything to make them feel better again. As a parent, and especially as a mom, I feel that it's my responsibility to protect them.

Unfortunately, a lot of the time, parenting involves discipline. Sometimes I have to raise my voice if I feel like they haven't heard me the first five times that I've asked them to do something. If they're still not listening, I give them a time-out, a break to give them a chance to sit and think about what they've done wrong and how they can improve themselves going forward. One would assume that a soon-to-be-three-year-old doesn't necessarily sit in the corner and ponder how he could behave differently, but when time-out is over, he's able to tell me why he needed a break, we talk about how he needs to improve his behavior going forward, and the bad behavior is typically not repeated again.

As the mother of my boys, I know better than anybody else what they need at any given time, and I know what's best for them. I know they often don't understand why I tell them to do certain things, or why they can't do certain things... although I do my best best to explain my reasons for things. I try to avoid "because I said so" or "because I'm the mom" as much as possible.

Just recently, I've starting to learn more about God as a parent, and I've been able to really start seeing myself through His eyes. And for the first time I've begun to really understand that kind of perfect unconditional love that He has for us! To think of God in that way, to compare His role as a Father to His children, has been so eye-opening to me! I mean, I've heard all my life from pastors and group leaders and prayer groups, and of course, the Bible, refering to Him as "Father", but I never really grasped that concept until recently. Being a Father, He really does only want what's best for me, for all us! Of course He wants me to be happy, He doesn't want to see me in pain, He provides ways to challenge me to help me learn and grow. He knows me better than anybody else. He knows exactly what I need at any given time!

I think about how frustrating it must be for Him when I don't listen, when I disobey, when I talk back, when I turn around and walk away from Him to do what I want to do. So often I find myself telling my toddler, "When I ask you to do something, I want you to just do it," or "It makes me angry when you disobey," or "I don't like it when you don't listen." I wonder how many times God has said that to me in the past 32 years? It's kind of funny to think about it in that way. The only difference is that God is a perfect parent. And of course, I am not. But it does give me something to strive for.