Forgiveness is Freedom

Wow... it feels really GOOD to write again! I used to write a lot when I was younger, and really enjoyed it. But somewhere, somehow, Life happened, and I stopped writing. So I'm glad the Holy Spirit gave me this nudge to start up again. I'm not sure if I would have done it on my own. So I just wanted to share that!

Something else I want to share is a very cool thing that happened to me last night. I've been carrying around a burden for a really long time... almost 12 years. It's the one thing in my life that I truly regret, something I did when I was young and stupid and totally self-centered, that I would go back and change in a second if I could. Because it ruined a friendship. I've tried to forget it and pretend it never happened, but every now and then it would sneak up on me and remind me that it was still there. In the past couple months the burden became heavier, and a desire grew in my heart to ask for forgiveness, both from the person I wronged and from myself. I had not spoken to this person since then, and thanks to facebook, I was able to find this person and ask for forgiveness. I was so nervous!!! I went back and forth before hitting "send", afraid that I wouldn't receive it, fully expecting to be "deleted". Although I had hoped for a response, I did not really expect one.

About a month went by and I was starting to lose hope. But last night, I received the response that I was waiting for, telling me I was forgiven. I can't even express the lightness I felt! I had no idea how heavy it was, until it was gone. It was the most amazing feeling, that after 12 years of carrying this shadow around in my heart, I was finally free of it!

I have forgiven others many times in my life, and I don't recall it ever seeming like a very big deal. Just recently I was able to tell someone I loved, "Of course I forgive you." I didn't even need to think that hard about it, but she was incredibly overwhelmed by it. I never really understood how powerful forgiveness is until I was the one who needed it. And I certainly don't deserve it.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." ~Ephesians 4:32